JC - Our Savior
The world narrowly missed the long anticipated yet unscheduled arrival of the second coming of Christ late last month. The Pope probably doesn’t realize it, but He would have appeared in the unlikely form of an 18-year old with floppy blond surfer hair.
Is it just a coincidence that two of the greatest things ever to happen to Irish fans – Jimmy Clausen and Reggie Bush’s Housegate – both occurred within 48 hours of each other? Maybe.
But what if the timing had been just a bit earlier – and one week out of the 104,312 that have passed since Christ’s birth certainly qualifies as “a bit” – and both bombs had dropped on Pete Carroll’s house over Easter? That, my fellow believers, would have been an undeniable miracle, the first of many en route to the canonization of Saint James (Clausen).
But JC could still be The Savior. Need proof? As with all things of significance, let us simply look to film and television for the answers.
Check out the initials. J.C. That’s right; since birth, Jimmy has been a Christ figure, preparing for his inevitable Messianic rise. But he is far from the only hero to be named with Our Lady’s Son in mind.
In THE TERMINATOR, Ahnold’s indestructible bad guy is sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor. Why? So she will never give birth to the son who will lead the humans to victory over the Trojans, er, machines. That son’s name? John Connor. JC. All he did was save the freaking world. Irish fans will expect no less from our new dashing leading man. And Irish coeds will likely be more than willing to audition on a beer stained casting couch for the role of his leading lady.
Ah, so our hero will need a strong moral compass to steer him past the Kimberly Dunbars toward the salad bars. Who better than Jiminy Cricket? JC. Our gunslinger would do well to emulate the song and dance skills of Pinocchio’s consigliere, especially when trying to lead unsigned recruits past aptly named godless dregs like Death Valley, The Big House, and The Swamp toward the white lights of Notre Dame Stadium.
Yes, recruiting fellow superstars will be vital. Unfortunately, we hear so often about kids from the South wanting to stay close to home, afraid to branch out into such a drastically new environment. So let us turn for inspiration to one southern man who wasn’t afraid to pull up stakes and head out to a world wildly different from his own: Jed Clampett. JC. Let’s hope that Jimmy will soon be basking in an oil rush of his own, just like another Jimmy – Dean – experienced in GIANT, when he stood laughing deliriously in a gusher. May that be national championship confetti raining down – four times? – upon our lucky #7.
Perhaps not everyone involved in the Irish program feels so fortunate thanks to Clausen’s pending arrival. Has anybody stopped to think what Zach Frazer is thinking today? I’m not worried about Demetrius Jones, because his tremendous athletic ability will allow him to easily move to receiver and end up catching touchdown passes on Sundays. Frazer, however, doesn’t have that luxury. Barring an injury – Blasphemy! – to JC, I foresee only one scenario in which the athlete-formerly-known-as-our-stud-QB-recruit completes his college career under the Golden Dome: The Savior goes pro after two years, meaning Zach will still have two seasons of eligibility left, thanks to a possible redshirt in 2006. I truly appreciated how hard Frazer worked last year in recruiting his future teammates. He’s a natural leader and it would have been rewarding to see him win with the guys he helped lure to balmy South Bend. Even worse, now we’ll never know which of his receivers would have been called “Screech.”
Can you hear it? That’s the shrieking of the faithful finally rewarded for their years of penance and self-flagellation. To paraphrase Reggie Hammond: There’s a new Savior in town, and his name’s Jimmy Clausen. Somebody get the Vatican on the horn.
Is it just a coincidence that two of the greatest things ever to happen to Irish fans – Jimmy Clausen and Reggie Bush’s Housegate – both occurred within 48 hours of each other? Maybe.
But what if the timing had been just a bit earlier – and one week out of the 104,312 that have passed since Christ’s birth certainly qualifies as “a bit” – and both bombs had dropped on Pete Carroll’s house over Easter? That, my fellow believers, would have been an undeniable miracle, the first of many en route to the canonization of Saint James (Clausen).
But JC could still be The Savior. Need proof? As with all things of significance, let us simply look to film and television for the answers.
Check out the initials. J.C. That’s right; since birth, Jimmy has been a Christ figure, preparing for his inevitable Messianic rise. But he is far from the only hero to be named with Our Lady’s Son in mind.
In THE TERMINATOR, Ahnold’s indestructible bad guy is sent back in time to kill Sarah Connor. Why? So she will never give birth to the son who will lead the humans to victory over the Trojans, er, machines. That son’s name? John Connor. JC. All he did was save the freaking world. Irish fans will expect no less from our new dashing leading man. And Irish coeds will likely be more than willing to audition on a beer stained casting couch for the role of his leading lady.
Ah, so our hero will need a strong moral compass to steer him past the Kimberly Dunbars toward the salad bars. Who better than Jiminy Cricket? JC. Our gunslinger would do well to emulate the song and dance skills of Pinocchio’s consigliere, especially when trying to lead unsigned recruits past aptly named godless dregs like Death Valley, The Big House, and The Swamp toward the white lights of Notre Dame Stadium.
Yes, recruiting fellow superstars will be vital. Unfortunately, we hear so often about kids from the South wanting to stay close to home, afraid to branch out into such a drastically new environment. So let us turn for inspiration to one southern man who wasn’t afraid to pull up stakes and head out to a world wildly different from his own: Jed Clampett. JC. Let’s hope that Jimmy will soon be basking in an oil rush of his own, just like another Jimmy – Dean – experienced in GIANT, when he stood laughing deliriously in a gusher. May that be national championship confetti raining down – four times? – upon our lucky #7.
Perhaps not everyone involved in the Irish program feels so fortunate thanks to Clausen’s pending arrival. Has anybody stopped to think what Zach Frazer is thinking today? I’m not worried about Demetrius Jones, because his tremendous athletic ability will allow him to easily move to receiver and end up catching touchdown passes on Sundays. Frazer, however, doesn’t have that luxury. Barring an injury – Blasphemy! – to JC, I foresee only one scenario in which the athlete-formerly-known-as-our-stud-QB-recruit completes his college career under the Golden Dome: The Savior goes pro after two years, meaning Zach will still have two seasons of eligibility left, thanks to a possible redshirt in 2006. I truly appreciated how hard Frazer worked last year in recruiting his future teammates. He’s a natural leader and it would have been rewarding to see him win with the guys he helped lure to balmy South Bend. Even worse, now we’ll never know which of his receivers would have been called “Screech.”
Can you hear it? That’s the shrieking of the faithful finally rewarded for their years of penance and self-flagellation. To paraphrase Reggie Hammond: There’s a new Savior in town, and his name’s Jimmy Clausen. Somebody get the Vatican on the horn.
posted by Jamo at 10:06 AM
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